The Bonds of Modern Marriage

For many centuries in the past, marriage was less about love than it was about the bond between two families. Those who had the means would provide their daughter with a rich dowry so she could attract a worthy mate, and the family could then count on their in-laws to help them in times of need. Spouses were not expected to have feelings of love or affection for each other, and the creation and rearing of children was so their family lines would not die. The bonds of modern marriage are quite different, and they are more about the needs of the couple involved.

Dowry not included

Due to the fact that modern females generally choose their own partner, dowry not included is a given in today’s society. Attracting a man with the riches of their family is not necessary, and it is considered to be déclassé if their family uses it as a means to help them find a spouse. The sharing of wealth is between the couple, and their loved ones have little say or sway over their decisions. While it is still part of the dating ritual that their prospective mate will meet their loved ones, not even their approval is a necessity in the modern world.

Becoming parents

Modern couples today often want children of their own, and some of them do think about the fact they are continuing their family line. Many ancient traditions included the need for a son to carry on the family name, but modern couples tend to be more concerned about having a healthy child. Their family might want them to have a boy and a girl, but there is much less pressure on gender as it has less of a place in modern life. Modern couples may want to have several children, but their goal is to have a family they can love and cherish.

Mutual support

The need for associations with other families for mutual support was typical of ancient times, but fewer of those ties exist in the modern world. Some old-fashioned families might think in those terms, but couples tend to be less of a formal bridge between their families. Celebrations on holidays or for special events might include both families, but the ancient ties in times of crisis are seldom brought into play. Most couples will help either of their families when needed, but they seldom ask the families to help each other in their stead.

There are many differences in the arrangements and expectation of modern marriages when looked at through the lens of those from centuries ago. Modern couples expect their relationship to be about their own lives, and combining their families is not really part of their goal. Each person brings their own set of abilities to the marriage, and they do not expect large contributions from those who raised them. The children they produce from their marriage are raised with the goal of producing healthy, productive children who will be able to provide their own support for themselves and their parents in the far future.